I generally assume that readers of this blog want to take sustainability seriously. It suddenly hit me that maybe I’m being a bit presumptuous and that could be discriminating against all those who prefer business as usual.

So if you’re one of those people who really don’t want to actually do anything, but don’t want to be seen to do nothing, here are some top tips just for you:

• Copy and paste your environmental policy from somebody else and simply change the company name;
• Print the word “recyclable” on every piece of packaging, because it’s true!
• Likewise, if you can claim not to do something (eg use CFCs) when your business never did, or would, it all adds to the image;
• Speaking off images – drop a few stock images of green things into your literature. If it looks nice, you won’t have to justify it;
• Stick a switch it off sticker on every light switch – they’re dead cheap, it takes a hour or two to do and you can say you’ve got a employee engagement programme;
• Delegate responsibility to someone with little or no authority – maybe even to voluntary champions;
• Got a presentation to give or a report to write? Well, just keep dusting off the same couple of projects – it’s a form of recycling!
• Only approve energy efficiency, waste minimisation or water conservation measures if they give you a very short payback – but use them in those case studies;
• If you must set targets, then go for something easy like saving 1% of energy year-on-year, or set a target you know you’re on track to meet before you set it;
• But you’re better off never making a concrete promise to do anything – keep it vague “we are committed to helping save the planet” or some such.

Do all this and you’ll have an impressive sounding, if largely ineffective, sustainability programme without having to break sweat.